This is a very stressful time of year for many people. It’s supposed to be about family but it seems that many people have to go it alone. Someone has done someone wrong and it can’t be forgiven nor forgotten, let’s carry on with the “war”. Sometimes, it’s just time to let it go. It amazes me that some people remember every little event (make that a transgression) and bring it up as an example whenever such an opportunity presents itself. In my life, it seems to be the women that have this trait. When I am reminded of something I did wrong I try to remember what I did and often I draw a blank. What’s a guy to do?
I found out this morning that one of my favorite radio personalities passed away at the young age of 52. Kevin Nelson had contracted a virus on vacation over a year ago, he had to leave the airwaves due to ill-health earlier this year. He succumbed this morning. He was the son of “Jungle Jay Nelson”, a well-known radio personality who had died in 1994 at the age of 57. You never know when it will be over for you or a loved one.
I know of another woman whose daughter recently had a new baby but she’s not allowed to be a part of this childs life. It seems that the woman made a decision that the daughter disagreed with and now she’s being cut out of this daughter’s life. Forget that the woman took care of the daughter in recent years with the birth of the first grandchild and provided a place for them to live. The disapproved action was a one timer that is now over and not likely to be repeated but it seems not to matter to the daughter, the mother has erred or sinned in her eyes and cannot be forgiven. Time to ask yourself, “what if something happens to any of us?”, will it weigh heavily on their hearts for what they didn’t do?
Another woman I know is full of hatred and anger. Imagine living your life with a lens of anger, everything you see or do is tainted by your bias. Nothing brings joy nor happiness, she is miserable and judges everything and everybody as being unworthy or worthless. A good dose of amnesia would be a blessing in this case. It has to be eating away at her every minute of her life. She hates men, basically all men for their perceived transgressions.
I find it interesting that there are different rules for a wife’s family and a husband’s family. It is usually the husband’s family that gets short shrift. That “family” component isn’t as important as her “family”. Two sets of rules and two sets of behaviours. I see this behaviour in a number of people who I know.
It is not uncommon, in my view, that sometimes the anger can’t be traced back to its origin. It’s not that it wasn’t justified at the time, it may be a perception and not fully understood by the party who has offended. The one who is angry has often failed to communicate the problem. The estranged one is at a loss as to “why” but has to learn to just accept what it happening. Sometimes it’s just best to let it go, reconciliation is not an option.
As I said we get too soon old and too late smart. As we age, we know that our time here on this earth is dwindling and if someone doesn’t want you in their life we just have to accept it and move on and live our lives. Banging your head against a wall is a painful experience but stop banging and the pain subsides.
Merry Christmas and may you have a good family celebration.
